Season 1, Episode 10: The Scare

It feels like this season is descending into a series of gimmicky “special episodes” all of a sudden, because we have another one: it's...well, I was going to say the Halloween episode, but that's not actually true. The spooky theme in this episode, “The Scare” is all courtesy of Dawson Leery's favourite day of the year, apparently: Friday the 13^th, which he annually celebrates by playing spooky pranks on his nearest and dearest. It's like Halloween and April Fool's combined.

But can we back up the truck a little bit here and just ACTUALLY think about this for a second?

Dawson Leery's favourite day of the year is Friday the 13^th? First, let's pretend like THAT'S AN ACTUAL SPECIAL DAY EVERY YEAR NOT JUST A QUIRK OF THE CALENDAR (because I know some years there have been two Friday 13ths, and some years might have none? I can't be bothered researching this but whatevs, IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S A CELEBRATED HOLIDAY DAWSON). Secondly – THAT'S his favourite day? Not...Valentine's Day, all about mushy romantic declarations of love (because you know, he lives in a sparkly pink fantasy candy floss cloud)? Not his birthday, when it can be ALL ABOUT DAWSON? Not some pretentious day like Steven Spielberg's birthday or the day film cameras were invented or the anniversary of the day he first saw E.T or something?

No, yet again, because Dawson's Creek writer's couldn't think of ANY OTHER WAY to make what they needed to happen happen PLUS get their nifty intertextual references to things like DC creator Kevin Williamson's film Scream in, they dreamt up some ridiculous excuse to have a horror theme episode, miles away from Halloween.

GOOD ONE.

(It actually is a solid episode, and – like all the “special” episodes, remains SUPER memorable even after several years. What I like about the themed episodes is that they are never just capsule, stand alone eps, they do still further the narrative and character development, even if plot-wise things do step sideways for a bit).

So we start out in Dawson's bedroom AGAIN, where he and Joey take advantage of their disagreement over the choice of film to have one of what is becoming a SUSPICIOUSLY FREQUENT number of “playful wrestling bouts”. The irony in this scene that comes from left-field (hinted at, though, in Dawson's own attempt at filmmaking, I guess) is Joey, eternal hardened cynic Joey, hates to be scared and thus switches off the horror film- I Know What You Did Last Summer - Dawson chose in honour of it being Friday 13 the next day just as it's reaching its climax. They argue over that, and why being scared is awesome, and I HATE TO SAY IT BUT (as a lifelong horror film fan) I AGREE WITH DAWSON FOR ONCE even though he doesn't actually use any good, geeky film school arguments. 

 

Then there's the hilarity of what Joey would rather watch: JERRY MAGUIRE is on the tv, though it's a scene featuring Renee Zellwegger lamenting the loss of her true love and Tom Cruise is nowhere to be seen. Still...SPOOOOKY. And Joey doesn't like being scared? I GOT CHILLS.

Just before the opening credits there's a news update that reveals ''another woman's body has been found” near Capeside, and that it looks like the work of the serial murderer police have dubbed “The LadyKiller”. This proves Joey's point about not needing horror in movies because there's enough horror in real life; it creepily delights Dawson (um, calm down, DUDE, SOMEONE GOT BRUTALLY MURDERED!) and HINT HINT can you guess where the episode is headed yet?

“I don't wanna wait, for our lives to be ooooverrrrr...” You won't have to wait long, my pretties. Before the end of the episode, ONE OF YOU WILL BE DEAD. 

 

Just kidding. I was just trying to create the special episode atmosphere.

Okay, IT'S FRIDAY 13^th! Are you excited, because Dawson has once again transformed into Dorkson and is PEEING HIS PANTS with GLEE. After he pulls an emo fake-out on Pacey, all “no, bro, I'm way too sad about Jen dumping me to think up any dorky pranks for a day that nobody except me celebrates” only to brand Pacey a sucker for

1. being surprised by a freaky skull popping out of his locker into his FACE
2. being genuinely concerned about Dawson because OMG DAWSON, FOLLOWING AN EMOTIONAL EVENT, WAS APPEARING TO LOSE INTEREST IN HIS TRULY DORKY PASTIMES THAT APPARENTLY ANNUALLY BRING HIM A SMALL MEASURE OF SUPERIORITY AND JOY – and that's a sign of depression. SO SUE PACEY FOR CARING YOU PRICK, DAWSON.

Joey, in some class she takes with Jen (but they don't sit together...INTERESTING. Oh wait, maybe it's alphabetical, US schools sometimes do that? There goes my awesome bitchy conspiracy) gets an obviously fake snake in her schoolbag that freaks her out waaay disproportionately. I'm beginning to think that Joey has mental issues, or possibly needs glasses. After all, she thinks Dawson's hot BA DOOM BOOM.

Cliff (SCOTT FOLEY!!!) (I can't not write his name like that, I love SCOTT FOLEY!!!) enters the class room to talk to Jen – and it's awkward, because he wants to ask her on a date.

DOES ANYONE ELSE REMEMBER THAT WHEN JEN DUMPED DAWSON HER REASON WAS BASICALLY THAT SHE HAD NEVER NOT BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP AND SHE NEEDED SOME TIME TO FIGURE HERSELF OUT?

Seems like five seconds is enough time for Jen to “figure it all out”, or else Jen's full of shit. Because Cliff gets his date – despite asking in a way that made him look like a prat (here's a hint, if you don't really know how a relationship ended, try not to insult the ex in public, especially not to the girl who went out with him).

Oh. My GOD. Then THIS. Can we please rename this episode “(If You Didn't Already Hate Jen, We Will Give You) The Reasons”

SHE'S A PRETENTIOUS IDIOT. 

 

AND TACTLESS.

Seriously? Just say you have plans. Unless you are TRYING to hurt Dawson or provoke a reaction. I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS EVER ON TEAM JEN FOR EVEN A SECOND.

So villain #1 is established, except she's been established as the villain since Episode #1 because you know, she's the love rival. She's also sulky because despite having broken Dawson's heart,she's all like “How come everyone else gets a dorky 'horror-themed practical joke played on them except me?” Dawson is all like “BECAUSE I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE BEING SCARED AND BECAUSE I HATE YOUR FACE” though he only implies that last part. MOVING ON.

Things get cracktastically awesome when Cliff (SCOTT FOLEY!!!) reveals that everything you ever heard about jocks being dumb is flagrantly true, BUT WAY TWISTEDLY WORSE. He wants his date with Bitchface Backstabber Jen to be KICKASS because he thinks it's his last chance (omg is he dying? Wait, getting confused with SCOTT FOLEY!!! on Grey's Anatomy) so because he has no friends and the internet doesn't exist in 1998 in Capeside, and he doesn't watch movies or read books and has no other source to look to for inspiration, he goes to the logical source:

BITCHFACE BACKSTABBER'S EX-BOYFRIEND. Good one. THIS CAN ONLY END IN AWESOME.

In the lead-up to Dawson's dorky séance (um – guess where Cliff is bringing Jen? *facepalm*) the episode actually ups the scare factor. SOMEONE IS AFTER JEN, first leaving a threatening letter in her locker and then calling her house and re-enacting the Drew Barrymore scene from Scream. The phone scene is actually really creepy because it's obvious that Jen is terrified, nevertheless, she annoys the shit out of me by not just HANGING UP THE FREAKING PHONE AND CALLING THE POLICE. She's convinced in both instances that it's Dawson fulfilling her wish to be horror-pranked.

UM HAVE YOU MET DAWSON? He's emotionally unstable, BUT NOT A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH.

The next day, Pacey, Dawson and Joey take Pacey's family's jeep (WOOOT! First appearance of the Witter jeep!!) on a an expedition into town to go shopping for party supplies.

First of all – there's something LOST-ian going on here. Did anyone else notice that they left Dawson's place in full daylight but by the time they get to the convenience store (and Capeside can't be more than 20 minutes drive side to side), night has fallen?

Secondly – FACEPALM. Joey has to watch the car (since Pacey hotwired it to ''borrow'' it and can't turn it off) and while the boys are in the store, they witness a couple having a huge domestic. Again, I find myself siding with Dawson:

but YOU KNOW that Pacey's inexplicably awful taste in women and that part of him that has REALLY REALLY BAD JUDGEMENT comes to the fore, and so after Crazy Stranger Lady Who Is Probably A Drug Addict SHOPLIFTS A BOTTLE OF WINE for a pair of TEENAGE BOYS SHE HAS ONLY JUST MET, she gets invited back to Dawson's place, under the guise of Pacey being chivalrous and “saving” her from the bad dude who was yelling at her, but really BECAUSE PACEY WANTS TO MAKE HER THE NEXT, METH ADDICT VERSION OF MS JACOBS.

His thing for (literally) crazy older women is never explained, right? Do we ever meet Pacey's mother?

Anyway, while all this is going on, outside in the car, Joey, ALLEGEDLY THE SMART ONE, is providing an excellent demonstration of how to delight murderers, rapists and perverts by ignoring everything you've ever been told about STRANGER DANGER.

 DON'T roll down the window.

 DON'T tell him your name.

 For the love of god, Joey, ARE YOU RETARDED?

 Take it away, Dawson:

IT'S THE 90's!

So things get underway at Dawson's House 'O' Horror. It's all spooky fun and games, fake snakes in peanut cans, gory fake heads in freezers and the gang telling ghost stories around an AWESOMELY tacky light-up table, (not to mention AAAAAAWKWARD – Cliff is totally a doofus; Jen totally thinks Dawson is responsible for terrifying her and Dawson is all like “Sorry, no I JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU ENOUGH TO ELABORATELY PRANK YOU BITCHFACE”) until..

the lights go out. And the phoneline has been cut. And SOMEONE IS TRYING TO GET INSIDE.

The possibilities:

1. Obviously, it's the Ladykiller, who has chosen his victim from among our loveable gang and followed her to Dawson's house, where he will cut out her heart.
2. Dawson has planned the whole thing as part of his creepy séance experience, which is ACTUALLY PSYCHO given he knows for a fact that at least two of his three close friends attending (Joey and Jen) are really not fans of being scared.
3. Maybe Dawson's parents have forgotten to pay the power bill and the phone bill and have forgotten their keys and are actually going to make an appearance this episode? (Hint: it's not this one).
4. Crazy Lady Who Is Probably A Drug Addict's boyfriend from the convenience store wants her back, and is coming to get her.

It's kind of a combination of all of the above, and I can't really be bothered recapping in GREAT detail because all that really happens is a bunch of screaming and wandering round in the dark. Dawson has an emo when his friends turn the tables on him in the midst of the chaos and have Joey play dead – which is the worst thing he could imagine.

DOESN'T STOP HIM TRYING TO PASH BITCHFACE! when she has her own emo about not having a scary prank played on her (seriously? She bitches all episode about the terrifying phonecall she thinks Dawson was responsible for, finds out it wasn't him and then whinges about the fact that he DIDN'T terrify her? WHERE THE HELL IS THE LADYKILLER?) In case it wasn't obvious FROM THE SOUND OF HIS VOICE JEN, the guy on the phone was CLIFF. He thought you liked to be scared and apparently, is psycho enough that he takes screaming and crying as positive signals that you're totally into him. EW.

The episode ends ON A HILARIOUSLY EMO NOTE because with only three episodes left this season, the one true pair has to be firmly established, and HINT HINT Dawson didn't shed any tears over Bitchface's potential death. Just to remind viewers who they should be rooting for, we get Dawson and Joey sitting in his room, dissecting the evening, but more particularly, morbidly discussing their own deaths and ROMANTICALLY BONDING.Joey's spending the night. AGAIN. 

 

Awwwwww. So sweet.

And creeeeeeepy.