Ms Jacobs eventually says roughly this to Pacey, mentioning 10 years of therapy, how badass it was that she BROKE THE LAW and how they can NEVER do it again...before promptly grabbing Pacey and playing the old tonsil-hockey with him again. PACEY! I'm pretty sure teenage me thought you were SO COOL and swooned at how romantic the situation was, like OOOH forbidden love, but adult me wants to shake some sense into you and have that nightmare fuck-up of a teacher ARRESTED. Also, Dawson's Creek? Wow, I didn't appreciate at the time what a bizarre and inappropriate storyline this was.
And we have a proper episode title this time: DANCE.
(Cliff is played by none other than Scott Foley, which is awesome in itself. YOU CAN NEVER WIN Dawson!.)
But before he lets the beast loose he does some vital preparation. He is (in his own deranged imagination at least) going to end the night by kissing Jen. So obviously, he needs to seek advice on this matter from a trusted buddy. Joey? Doubt it. The only advice the girl has to offer involves leather and Crisco (seriously, they try and sell Jen as the bad girl, but increasingly I'm convinced it's Joey who could kick Jen's ass in all aspects of badass bitchery). Pacey? Pacey, this whole episode, is dealing with his own issues with who his friends think is a “mystery woman” but who we know is Ms Jacobs, and so is a friend in absentia to poor, deranged Dawson.
I'm like: Dorkson...ASK PACEY THESE QUESTIONS.
Practice pashing on your hand in the privacy of your room.
DO NOT PRACTICE KISSING ON A PAPIER MACHE REPLICA OF JOEY'S HEAD THRUST AT YOUR FACE BY YOUR FATHER AS HE SAYS “Moisten your bottom lip! Make it dance with hers!”
then starts thrashing up and down manically because his THOUGHTS ARE PHYSICALLY PAINFUL,
Dawson decides to be The Man and basically challenge Cliff to a duel. He actually practically slaps him in the face with a glove, it's that awkward and poserish – he's trying to cut in at the dance and says something like “manly step aside because I'm here now, JEN YOU CAN HAVE ME”.
HAHAH it's hard to hate Dawson when he makes himself look like such a dick. When Dawson descends into his Manic/Emo Melodramatic Meltdown mode, it's actually amazing. Because you know how like, in Say Anything, there's that moment when John Cusack plays the song through the boombox over his head – like the big romantic gesture? Dawson is like that but he gets it so so amazingly wrong, and it's spectacularly awkward. Dude practices kissing on mummified heads with his dad for god's sake. And then he beats himself up over it and has to talk it out for 10 million years, and then, GUTTINGLY because there is no justice in the world, HE GETS THE GIRL ANYWAY.
witnesses Dorkson dancing in the street with Jen, who, if you think about it, just really insulted him, because she had no problem kissing Pacey.